An excerpt from the sales pitch to the Lord of Hades on IT systems implementation “to ease transition of souls to the underworld”

RJ : Imagine this scenario, Mr.D…  You go online on Gtalk/AIM… find people whose time on earth is up and ping them… and BANG.!!! They fall lifeless…. No “Final Destination” drama… No gory blood spilling… Just plain shutdown of body organs… Matrix style… How cool would that be?

Mr. D : I have been in this business for a long long time, kiddo… Do you take me for a fool?? What if the guy is never online? Is that not the equivalent of the Sorcerer’s stone?

RJ : [Already sweating, given the searing temperature of hell fire] What about a facebook-like application then? U just add the guys you want dead as friends… We will even build a special app which will not require them to confirm you as a friend…

Mr. D: I need up-to-date information… How do you plan to do that?

RJ: For info on increasing population, we could consume web services from the birth-registers at hospitals… As for ‘The Ledger of deeds’, it will have to be migrated to the new system.

Mr. D: What about the element of fear? I thrive on fear…

RJ: [Pulling together the consultant's air] We will analyze the requirements and provide an optimal solution… It is too early for us to specify a particular implementation methodology…

[Uncomfortable silence...]

RJ: As a bonus, we will also add a ’suicide module’… Which would allow a select few, with problems,  to send you friend requests! To sweeten this deal… What says you, O lord of Hades?

Mr. D: You talk too much!

RJ: My friend tells me I am a cartoon at times…