Most of the people I know are not happy with what they have. (Not talking about sizes here, my dear innocent fellow!) They inherently have a craving for better things. (which is a good thing)Not getting what you want when you want it evokes a standard set of emotions as a child. Tantrums! Wailing! Heart wrenching rebellion! But as we ‘mature’, we learn to bottle up these modes of expressing disappointment, or let it out in a very controlled manner.

Take the scenario of a couple breaking up. People react differently to this ‘frustrating’ of all situations. While some turn to self help books to maintain sanity, others take to drastic measures like alcoholism. There are some who cry their heart out, but in the privacy of their rooms, not letting the world know… There are others who are able to move on after just a couple of hours of good sleep… Different people… different reactions…

How about when you are passed over for promotion, AGAIN? Would you still keep that smile on your face and work as if nothing has happened? Would you threaten to quit if you are not recognized for ‘valuable contributions’ to the company? Would you have a straight talk with your manager? I have seen all three scenarios play out… to different effect…

The question is … How do you handle frustration?

 

I have been tagged yet again… I am a guy who tries not to post on matters of a personal nature on this blog… But, this time, I will not complain… I turned the last page on a quarter century of good living last week and doing an eight things post would serve just the right portion of reality check I need at the moment.

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, I open up to you on a few topics.

Eight things I do everyday (Read: things I am passionate about):

1. Read blogs and/or books

2. Listen to music

3. Hit the gym

4. Practice guitar

5. Criticize my friends’ culinary skills

6. Read comic strips

7. Talk to my family in India

8. Read the bible

P.S.: Not a very exhaustive list. In case you are wondering, I do shower after the gym sessions.

Eight things I am glad I did:

1. Decide to work for two more years before furthering my formal education

2. Join Uni-Y while in college (made some great friends there…)

3. Move to Chennai after the 10th grade

4. Be responsible for my finances and start investing seriously

5. Learn to laugh at myself even more…

6. Try out Squash (Yes!!! the racquet game….)

7. Start blogging seriously

8.  Decide against buying a digital SLR camera. I put that money to better use.

Eight things I would like to do:

1. Start a not-for-profit cafe

2. Cut my own music album

3. Sky-dive

4. Learn to juggle at least  3 items at a time…. (I am not talking about career, family and friends here… )

5. Drive at 300 kmph … On road of course… I do not want to settle for a train driving lesson….

6. Attend a professional bar-tending course

7. Scuba-dive in The Great Coral Reefs of Australia

8. Do my MBA from a top college (Still trying to shortlist colleges that would find me as good a fit as I would them… )

N.B..: I am not going to wait till I retire to do these things

Eight time periods I wish I could relive:

1. The relaxed vacation at Thodupuzha (my hometown) I had so long ago

2. My days at Loyola School among great guys who had a sense of themselves

3. The TCS ILP days at Pune with awesome people from all over the country to keep you company

4. The last couple of years at the Trust hostel at college… Vaalis rock!!!

5. The pre-college days I spent at Qwiky’s Coffee, Chennai

6. Consummacy ‘04 - for all its drawbacks, I learnt a lot from this inter-collegiate fest I helped organize.

7. My trip to Milan and Venice. All thanks to Jincy and Deepak.

8. Every dinner I have ever had with my family -  Dollops of advice and humor, with some great food to accompany

Eight songs that struck a chord with my heart:

1. Oasis - Wonderwall

2. Metallica - Nothing else matters

3. CCR - Brown eyed Girl

4. Pink Floyd - Comfortably numb

5. Snow Patrol - Signal Fire

6. U2 - With or Without you 

7. James Blunt - You are beautiful

8. Coldplay - Fix you

Eight English movies I could watch over and over and over again:

1. You ve got mail

2. Braveheart

3. Gladiator

4. Fight Club

5. Notting Hill

6. Love actually

7. Swordfish

8. Pulp Fiction

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There you have it folks!!! If there are any specific questions you would like me to answer, leave a comment. I promise to attend to them…

P..S: I will not pass on the tag to anyone specific this time around… But if you do feel like it, do this up… Quite an interesting activity this is.. Took me a while to compile this list!

 

If you want to make it to the moon but your glands do not pump enough adrenaline to help you become an astronaut, the deadline is approaching to at least send your name around Earth’s lonely God/Big-Bang - made satellite.

June 27 marks the last day to enter your information on the Web to send your name to the moon with the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO). Your name will be incorporated in a database and loaded onto a microchip built into the LRO spacecraft. The service is free and comes with a printable certificate assuring you that you are indeed a part of the LRO experience.

LRO is the first step in sending humans back to the moon, according to Cathy Peddie, deputy project manager for LRO at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, MD. The orbiter will scope out landing sites and resources, and also study the effects of lunar radiation on humans. The orbiter is slated to launch no earlier than November and will orbit for at least a year.

And if all the people in the promo video for NASA are to be believed, this will be a popular trip. 

Send your name to the moon now.

One of the comments on my post What we can learn from the vulcans was from pR@tz. It read “Renji John, you are tagged @ a world of my own….”

It got me curious. Was this similar to the chain mail phenomenon we are so accustomed to in the e-mail world?

A few seconds of googling and wiki-ing later, I found out that this phenomenon had a name. It was called Internet Meme.

At its most basic, an Internet meme is simply the propagation of a digital file or hyperlink from one person to others using methods available through the Internet (for example, email, blogs, social networking sites, instant messaging, etc.). The content often consists of a saying or joke, a rumor, an altered or original image, a complete website, a video clip or animation, or an offbeat news story, among many other possibilities. An Internet meme may stay the same or may evolve over time, by chance or through commentary, imitations, and parody versions, or even by collecting news accounts about itself. Internet memes have a tendency to evolve and spread extremely quickly, sometimes going in and out of popularity in a matter of days. They are spread organically, voluntarily, peer to peer, rather than by compulsion, predetermined path, or completely automated means.

                                                                                   - Wikipedia

So I have been ‘memed’. This particular thread involves

• Posting about 5 different (personality types) characters I hate.
• Passing on the tags to 5 different bloggers

However, since I am a religious man (Jesus asked us to ‘love thy neighbors’), I have changed the rules a bit. I have decided to post five Blogs I read religiously. (and don’t blame me, pR@tz. Wikipedia does mention that Internet memes have a tendency to evolve. )

So, there it is. The meme is now on posting 5 blogs you read on almost a daily basis.

1. Zen Habits:

Zen Habits covers: achieving goals, productivity, being organized, GTD, motivation, eliminating debt, saving, getting a flat stomach, eating healthy, simplifying, living in frugality, parenting, happiness, and successfully implementing good habits.

2. The art of Manliness

Generation X and Y is a generation of Lost Boys. We live in a Never-Never-Land where boys stay boys and never become men. More and more males today are putting off college, family, and adult responsibilities in order to play video games and do keg stands. Don’t believe me that today’s man is lost? How about some numbers?

• 2/3 of men in the U.S. are overweight or obese.
• Men only make up 42 percent of U.S. college students.
• The average male carries around $2,369 in credit-card debt.
• Three out of ten drink too much
• A majority of males between the ages of 30 and 18 receive greater financial support from their parents and has more debt than previous generations.
• The average adult man plays video games 7.6 hours per week.

The Art of Manliness is dedicated to helping men uncover what manliness means in the 21st century. What skills and knowledge should a 21st Century man acquire? What traits should they develop?

3. Creating Passionate Users

The Creating Passionate Users bloggers are all fascinated by brains, minds and what science can tell them about the practice of making users passionate about their lives and tools.

4. CNET News Blog

My source for techie news!!!

5. Paul Graham

A good read. Especially, if you are entrepreneur-ly inclined.

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There are posts I might disagree with, vehemently, in some of the above-mentioned blogs. But that doesn’t make them any inferior. If anything, that’s because they make me think. That is one reason I like them.

Now for the tags. Here’s the blog roll-call.

1. http://deepakleads.blogspot.com/ (A friend of mine I met at a PLM conference in Italy)

2. http://prabhagovind.wordpress.com/ (Friend and a former colleague)

3. http://4sometime.com/blog/ (I know this person only through her blogs)

4. http://eapenz.blogspot.com/ (a friend from college days)

5. http://emjay-online.blogspot.com/ (A cool guy to hang out with)

David did win, just like in Biblical times. Only this time, the surname was ‘Cook’.

The former bartender knocked off David Archuleta by 12 million votes to capture the seventh season title on American Idol. Check out the winning announcement and Cook’s subsequent performance of “Time of My Life”. Emotionally charged, I did say.

A few come to realize that they can make the cut… But many who audition do not realize they can’t sing…. A few dreams come true, but many others are shattered… This is what the American Idol embodies. It’s entertainment for the world and an opening for many into the star-studded world of Hollywood…

Check out this Simpsons video on an American Idol audition. I need not say more about the judges record producer Randy Jackson; pop singer and choreographer Paula Abdul; and music executive Simon Cowell…. It’s all here…

I simply love the American Idol concept… It is the height of democracy… Millions of people expressing their opinions on an event they feel strongly about… What’s more, they even go against the opinions of the ‘friendly’ judges, if needed.

Why can’t we run our country this way? Direct democracy is not something new to the world of Politics. Switzerland’s taxes and spending are lower than otherwise, and its labor productivity higher, because the Swiss can vote on fiscal issues. Bavaria’s ruling party, the Christian Social Union, credits direct democracy with giving citizens a way to disagree with the government on single issues without voting for the opposition.

Defenders of direct democracy insist that it improves decision-making. However, not eager to share power, politicians argue that ordinary citizens cannot be trusted with too much. What do YOU think?

If this post has piqued your interest on Direct Democracy, then head on to an article on Direct Democracy in Germany published in the Economist.

For the uninitiated few, Vulcans are a humanoid species in the fictional Star Trek universe who hail from the planet Vulcan, and are noted for their attempt to live by reason and logic with no interference from emotion. On early Star Trek original series (TOS) episodes, they were sometimes referred to as “Vulcanians”. They were the first extraterrestrial species encountered by Humans, and later became one of the founding members of the United Federation of Planets.

Now the question… What can we learn from this purely fictitious race of aliens?

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Emotional Control

Vulcans, as a matter of custom and policy, suppress all emotional influence by living lives of rigid emotional self-control through meditative techniques and training of mental discipline. Vulcans are not depicted as having no emotions. Although they themselves make this claim, Vulcans are a very emotional people. They developed techniques to suppress their emotions precisely because of the damage they can cause if unchecked.

Human equivalent : Ditto

We do not have to go searching for reasons to get upset. They come to us. Aren’t we the lucky ones?

Controlling emotions can go a long way in making a person’s life better. Learning not to throw a tantrum when you did not get that promotion/raise you so deserved may help you come across as more professional. Instead of wreaking your computer and office furniture, a more diplomatic way of disagreeing with the appraisal board will definitely help you in the long run.

Being diplomatic and aware of your surroundings becomes more important at home. Just remember the golden rule “No swearing when children are around” and you will be just fine.

The video below is a pristine example of anger management and emotional control.

Note: I am not talking about bottling your emotions up air tight and in the process, turning yourself into a walking, talking volcano waiting to spew “emotional” ash on your near and dear. Just find a way to vent it in a safe manner (like taking rifling or Krav Maga lessons)

Mind meld

Spock famously performed a mind meld on a number of occasions to communicate with a creature that did not speak the universal language, or to delve more deeply into another’s subconscious so as to retrieve important information not otherwise accessible. This technique involved placing his fingers at key points on the face (or equivalent thereof) of the being in question. After a moment, his consciousness was merged with the consciousness of the being, thus leading to thoughts and emotions being shared by both. This was first depicted in the TOS episode Dagger of the Mind and then referred to as the Vulcan mind fusion.

Human equivalent : Body Language

Although the human race cannot perform mind melds, we can still pick up unsaid messages from people around us. Some researchers put the level of nonverbal communication as high as 80 percent of all communication. More reasonably it could be at around 50-65 percent. That’s exactly what Mehrabian discovered in his communication study. He found that only 7 percent of communication comes from spoken words, 38 percent is from the tone of the voice, and 55 percent comes from body language. However, Mehrabian was only referring to cases of expressing feelings or attitudes, such as when a person says “I do not have a problem with you!” when people commonly focus on the tone of voice, and body language of the person, rather than the actual words said. It is a common misconception that these percentages apply to all communication.

Learning common Body Language can go a long way in improving how you understand other people and understanding what signals you unintentionally send across.

Check out this (hilarious) instructional video on body language. Do let me know if it helps…

The Way of Truth

It was established in “The Enterprise Incident” that, like all Vulcans, Spock never lies. In “The Doomsday Machine” Spock states that “Vulcans never bluff”. It could be argued that this is typical from someone who is bluffing, but this appears credible, since Vulcans never lie. In “The Menagerie”, however, Spock actually does lie. He tells Captain Kirk about a message sent to them from Star Base 11, ordering them to visit the now-disabled Captain Pike who is living in a special hospital there. They received no such order, as Kirk later discovers when they arrive. He later discusses this with Dr. McCoy, who refuses to acknowledge the possibility of Spock having lied. “…It’s impossible, Jim; Spock is a Vulcan. He is utterly incapable of lying,” McCoy says. “Yes,” Kirk replies. “But he is also half-human. That human part of him is capable of lying.”

Human equivalent : Sincerity

The dictionary defines “sincerity” as “freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; honesty in intention or in communicating; earnestness.” At the heart of sincerity is honesty in all your conduct and communications. Seek sincerity in all your communications by becoming a man who keeps confidences, curbs his sarcasm, and avoids dishonesty.

“It is difficult but not impossible to conduct strictly honest business. What is true is that honesty is incompatible with the amassing of a large fortune.”

                                                                           Mahatma Gandhi

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Striving for these “Vulcan” qualities will help you become a better person. I wish you the best.

As any Vulcan would have put it,

Dup dor a’az Mubster… [Live long and prosper...]

I was out the last day with a friend of mine for dinner. We got ourselves a nice table, ordered wine and starters. And then we started talking…

And then, it happened!!! I ‘passed out’ for a sec. (READ: wasn’t listening to what she was saying… was thinking how beautiful she looked in candlelight… Oh!!! how her lips moved…  Oh God!!! She is saying something…)

When I recovered, I found myself with a weird smile fixed on my face, nodding my head. But wait…. she wasn’t talking anymore… And then it came…

She said, “Whatever….”

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God help those posed with this word unawares. These were the scenarios I had seen it used before:

1. Do not disturb me

I was visiting my friend. While he was busy completing his Ph.D. thesis, I popped this question.

Me: Can I take a couple of beers and chips home, dude?

Friend: Whatever

2. I am way out of your league/not interested

This was something I witnessed. John Doe does not translate to Renji John. I was just an innocent by-stander watching this disaster of a pick-up line bring him down.

John Doe: Hi… My name is John “Lover Boy” Doe… What’s your name, pumpkin?

The girl at the bar: Whatever.

3. What you are saying is plain stupid

Another John Doe scenario. A different one, of course.

John Doe2: Did you know fish can fall in love?

The girl at another bar: Whatever.

4. A genuine grammar-textbook bred question

I have never seen this used by the teenagers of this era.

Holmes: Whatever did she mean by that, Dr. Watson?

Watson: Beats me, Sherlock Holmes.

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Now which of these was it? Go with Number 3… Go with Number 3…

She muttered, “Renji, I thought you liked Oasis…”

So… It was an innocent video this time… Phewww….

My Bad!!!

Lessons learnt:

If you just happened to have been thrown the “whatever” flavored dog bone by a girl, then dear dog-head, try to jump at the least damaging conclusion of all.

If the girl was asking you to move on in life and you continue talking to her about a music video, it “MIGHT” (the caps and quote marks on purpose there!!!) help you come across as a persistent, good-humored positive thinker who just doesn’t get it.

A recap of (just the boring part of) our dinner conversation:

Her: This is a nice place for a good conversation. [She smiled...Oh... What a beautiful smile?]

Me: So let’s start one… What did you do today? [Oh God.. how cheesy could that be?]

This is where my mind wandered

Her: Well… I worked out in the morn… Got to office… U know what? It was just another normal day at office… ALTHOUGH… I did get to check out a video of Oasis.

back online…

Her: Whatever

[Awkward silence]

Her: Renji, I thought you liked Oasis…

Me: Yeah yeah… ‘Course I do… [Did I just wag my tail too? Take it easy, boy!!!]